キノ・マクレガ―のインスタグラム(kinoyoga) - 12月25日 01時41分

Yesterday I had a full blown anxiety attack, like I haven’t in a really long time. All my old triggers got activated and despite my best attempts to deploy the tools of spiritual practice and emotional balance, there I was, caught again, trapped by the web of my own thoughts, locked behind the prison bars of fear.
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It came out of nowhere and was about nothing. But the destructive pattern got just enough stimulation to begin again. The thoughts ran themselves and I stood still amidst the storm. I watched, aware of the implosion. Tightness in the chest, shortness of breath, accelerated heartbeat, slight trembling in the limbs of my body, time slipping away at a rapid pace, claustrophobia, a feeling of no-way-out. So what did I do?
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1. Breathe—long breaths in and out. Over and over again.
2. Walk—For at least 20 minutes, no phone, no email, no social media.
3. Meditate—This is harder, almost impossible when my inner world is in meltdown mode. But if I can do it, if I can just sit there and feel my pain, something usually clears.
4. Emotional support—Talk, and not just to someone who will take your side, but to someone who will truly be interested in helping you see from a higher perspective or maybe just hold you hand so you know you’re not alone.
5. Forgiveness—Actively forgive myself for falling back into the old cycle and forgive the trigger. Shame and blame do nothing but drag you deeper into swamp.
6. New thoughts—Make space for new thoughts. One of the main reasons I got so triggered yesterday was because I’m in a relatively good space now. The idea of falling back into where I was emotionally just awhile ago brought up such fear that it obscured everything else. But, the good news, the silver lining in it is that I’m in such a better place than I was before, a space so good and happy that I don’t want to lose it. I know the grasping, the holding on to this state played a big part in yesterday’s collapse. But the knowledge and recognition of how much has changed now makes me feel so much gratitude for where I am now.
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Then, life continues. Pain is inevitable, suffering is not. Triggers will get activated. Freedom is a choice made in the heart.

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