キノ・マクレガ―のインスタグラム(kinoyoga) - 6月14日 07時37分

I struggle with self-love. I beat myself about things all the time, small things and big ones too, stuff that happened recently and other crap way back in the past. I know it’s not my fault, none of it is. We can’t help but stumble and fall, we are human, and that is part of what it means to be human. And yet, there’s a fine line between letting yourself off the hook too easily and flogging yourself repetitively so that you end up paying for the same mistake over and over again, long after you’ve learned the lesson.
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For awhile I couldn’t even understand what it meant to love myself. I felt like it was some narcissistic self-help scheme designed to give us all a free pass over things we needed to face. And while it is true that people can sometimes use spiritual talk to gloss right over some difficult issues, it is also true that it doesn’t serve anyone or anything to be so hard and punitive on yourself that wind up crippled under a mountain of doubt and despair. I’ve had people tell me that their conscience was clear about simply because they mediated about a situation. It was infuriating to see the tool of mindfulness used as some sort of artificial wall of self-protection. While we do need to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we’ve made in the past, that doesn’t mean we have free license to disregard the lived experience of someone who shares an inconvenient truth, especially if that truth comes from a non-dominant culture and you sit in a position of privilege.
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But really it all comes back to ourselves. We can only truly give to others what we have given to ourselves. It works both in the positive and the negative. If you abuse yourself you will let another people abuse you. If you love yourself you will not settle for anything less than love from other people. If you are able to open your heart to your own pain, faults and imperfections, without trying to solve, fix or make them go away, if you can just be with all yourself in a warm deep loving embrace, then maybe you can share that space with someone else. Maybe the entire balance of our lives hangs in a single act of kindness, and maybe that act of kindness has to start with ourselves. ?

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