キノ・マクレガ―のインスタグラム(kinoyoga) - 6月15日 23時22分

Yesterday I had a difficult talk with someone I love deeply. The most challenging conversations for me are the emotional ones that aren't planned. But really who schedules these things? I guess that's why no one loves to go to couples counseling. Tim and I went for awhile and sometimes we would be happy going in and annoyed at eachother going out. I'm not perfect, sometimes I speak too strongly, and I can be way too definite. I'm also pretty terrible at setting boundaries. I can go down a rabbit hole with someone for a really long time before I wake up and realize that it's crossed a line for me. It's often so far and so long before I get clear and I'm often in so much pain about it that my first reaction is usually a scream, not a quiet reflection. Then, the anger comes. I'm mad at the person I followed even though I did it of my own free will and then I get really mad at myself. And the person I followed is mad at me or at least hurt because they feel abandoned down in their world. The end game is always forgiveness, which is a two way street. And love, which gets stronger if you make it through intense ups and downs. But emotions aren't fair. They suck sometimes. The heart is like a pouty petulant child. What I'm working on is how to say what I've got to say and remain in love, how to take responsibility for my own experience and walk my own path with equal parts love and wisdom. Truth without love can be so harsh. Judgement without forgiveness can be so cruel. Today my prayer is for the softness of forgiveness and the strength of love to win out. ?
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