Ashley Jamesさんのインスタグラム動画 - (Ashley JamesInstagram)「Every single new year I'd set myself the same unrealistic goals: this will be the year that every single day I'd go to the gym, drink 5 litres of water, and only eat healthy food (aka rabbit leaves that left me thinking about food all day every day). Every year I'd take photos of my body - the before photo, if you will. Change my phone background to a photo of Emily Rata as 'fitspo', and get to work. I will be healthier, happier, and more loveable. One year I actually fainted on the treadmill in Virgin Active. That was embarrassing. Yet every single year I'd fail. Whether through bingeing, falling out of exercise, or ultimately just not having a body like someone else. I'd feel a sense of failure. I'd spend the rest of the year in these cycles of shame. What makes me sad is, I was so busy chasing a version of myself that wasn't achievable, I failed to see that my body was already fine. That food and drink wasn't the enemy - the tastes, and places I did it and the people I did it with being some of the best memories. The kind you remember on your death bed. We've been so conditioned to believe that smaller = happier or healthier. But from my experience, and most people's experiences, that's just not true. You don't experience happiness in a cycle of shame. You don't appreciate beauty when you focus on all the things wrong with yourself, instead of all the amazing things. But also, bigger isn't worse. I'm often asked how I shifted my mindset and to be honest it took years of practice. Of changing my thoughts every time old habits or thought patterns crept in. Of following different body shapes and sizes online. But also of looking back at my smallest and realising usually these were the times I was my unhealthiest (surviving on crisps and alcohol), unhappiest and felt my most unloveable. Because perfection doesn't exist, and flaws will always be there. I stopped seeing food as good and bad and started seeing exercise as a way to move my body in an enjoyable way rather than as a form of punishment. And I stopped trying to have someone else's body. on your death bed you'll remember the experiences, people, tastes, and adventures. Not your dress size. 🙏」1月2日 18時43分