Ashley Jamesさんのインスタグラム写真 - (Ashley JamesInstagram)「Home is where the heart is. ❤️ I've been trying to lean into motherhood more and not worry so much about fighting all the feelings of losing the old me and whatever else and just go with the flow. The fact is, baby or no baby, life has changed dramatically for us all in different ways with lockdown. I'm trying to switch my mindset and focus on what I've gained, and how I've grown. I think as humans we're very good at romanticising the past or fantasising about the future, but we find it hard just to sit in the present. And that's where true happiness is. Right here in this moment - not in a rose tinted past or imaginary future. 😊 Everytime I go to post a photo on here, I'm like "oh god, not another photo of me with Alf" - and I'm wondering exactly where these thoughts come from. Is it that I worry about people judging me, because we can't live like that. As someone who was an intense people pleaser I've learnt that people will judge whatever we do, but not for long as they'll go back to worrying about themselves - plus the people who get us won't. And that's who we want in our lives anyway. Or am I worried about my own judgements and limiting beliefs? The person I was before this. I used to always say I never wanted to be one of THOSE mums who only posted photos of their kids and yada yada yada, but honestly... I didn't realise that was because babies are always here. That, especially if you're Breastfeeding, they rely on you 24:7. I underestimated how much space and time they take up in your life. And as cheesy as it sounds, how much you enjoy them. The sound of their laughter, watching them grow. And so I think maybe I need more help and support so I can be a bit more independent from him, be the old me more, but then I think... Why would I want that? To please my past self? To show society I'm still me? (To be able to work more again which I do want). Won't I look back at these times and wish I just enjoyed it more? That I lived in the moment more? Because one day he will be at nursery, and I'll have time to be independent, and probably miss these days. Plus, in a world surrounded by so much uncertainty, he brings me the most consistent joy. ❤️」6月2日 6時04分