キノ・マクレガ―のインスタグラム(kinoyoga) - 2月28日 04時04分

There was a time when I felt like I was being tested, and in each of these tests, I’d reach a critical point and fail. This was when I first started yoga and everything felt like a playground of spiritual realization. Whether it was sunny or cloudy, whether I forgot or remembered my email password, whether I could do a headstand or not—everything felt like some sort of test, and, unluckily for me, I was always failing. My mind got tied up into such a knot that I barely found my way out.
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It may sound strange to hear all this now, but the reason I started yoga was on a deep spiritual quest for peace. My emotions ruled my life and lead me to soaring highs and crushing lows. In one moment I could be feeling like queen of the world, next like I wanted my life to end. I would vacillate from feeling fabulous and invincible to judging myself harshly and quitting for good. It was rough. My mind was not a safe space for anyone to be.
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Then, I found this practice and through years of dedication I’ve learned equanimity, how to not be disturbed by my emotions and I found the strength to face failure (both real and imagined). I’m not saying it’s easy, but it is possible to carve out a path filled with love and light amidst the inevitable struggles of life. In some ways I’m still that same girl who over spiritualizes everything and stresses the small stuff. And in another sense, I’m someone else entirely.
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Yoga teaches you how to move beyond your self, to transcend the personal so that you can vibrate with the universal, to shift your attention away from the effects so you can inhabit the realm of causes. It’s a process that cannot be rushed. Eventually your inner eyes will open and you’ll wake up to the simple truth of who you are, the bright, pure whole vibration of your inner being. I’m not afraid of failure anymore because I’ve realized that no matter how hard you try, you can’t mess it all up. We are here to learn, to share love, not to judge. You can get in your own way a lot, and I certainly have, you can make it harder or easier, but you can’t stop it if it’s meant to be. Breathe. Let it go. It’s not on you anyway.
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Photo @russellhoover @tavaruaislandresort

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