キノ・マクレガ―のインスタグラム(kinoyoga) - 1月27日 22時45分

What you think becomes your reality. But it’s not always the conscious thoughts that create your life. It’s the unconscious deeply-held beliefs that we only get glimmers of that set the grand pattern for our lives. Most of our lives are governed by patterns so systemic to the sub-strata of the mind and body that we aren’t even aware that they’re operating. In yoga these are called samskaras. These thought-pattern grooves set the architecture of your thoughts so that what you think is governed by them, sort of like setting the genre for your life. So even when you write a list of affirmations or try to tell yourself how worthy of love and success you are, the seed of self-sabotage lurks underneath.
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I have a deep feeling of unworthiness that sometimes borders on a feeling of utter worthlessness. I feel at my best when things are moving forward but when I face an obstacle it’s hard for me to keep moving forward. When I see someone else living the life I want it’s easy for me to fall into equal parts jealousy and self-loathing. I can so easily implode and explode in alternating fits of panic and days of depression. It has taken me years to do the work of processing my own mental health. I’m not perfect but I finally start to get a sense of my true worth.
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There have been so many times I looked to others to complete me, fix me, heal me or lead me. I gave my power away and assigned them credit for all the magical moments of my life. I never thought it was me who brought the magic. But now I’m finally starting to get a taste of what my magic is all about.
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This morning was raining and dreary and I almost didn’t make it out to the beach. But then I felt the sky clearing and looked up to see a break in the rain. I was greeted by this glorious scene—a multidimensional sky filled with rainbows, golden clouds and rays of heavenly light. I had to share it. No matter how dark the storm is, no matter whether that storm is happening in your mind, your heart or your life, the clouds will clear eventually. The light will one day break through even the deepest darkness. You’ll find your magic, not always in the big grand heroic epic style, but sometimes, yes, just like that.

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