レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 3月19日 20時31分

Your hammock. Your pajama pants. My favorite place.

I have to leave now. Flying to Aruba then Sweden.
Leaving your house and your family feels like leaving you and I'm really scared. I don't want to go back to the darkness. I don't want to fight to stay afloat. I don't want to spend my days barely breathing. I want to live life with more intention, more spark, than I did before. I want to honor your memory in all of my actions and never for a second forget to love we shared and the light you gave me. I want to feel everything even though sometimes it hurts so much I don't know if I can survive another second. Yesterday I came back to your house after a long day and I let myself fall apart. For just a bit. This morning I woke up and something fell and drew me to a small box on your dresser that I hadn't noticed before. I open it and inside... was our wedding invitation. I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me. You are telling me to keep moving forward. To love. To celebrate life. And I know I will look back at all of this some day and know that this was the year my best friend died and I got married and it had to be that way. Love and pain and transcendence. We are part of something greater. It was always meant to be this way. We need to keep moving forward and
up,
up,

up.

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