レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 3月17日 15時09分

We were home at our house in Aruba for about 90 minutes in between flights today and I crawled into bed with Quila and this smile happened. It's a real smile and it felt good. She was trying to lick my face... Dennis is really good at capturing things.
We wanted to take a photo of Quila to show your mom because she really loved her. Even though she lived with you for months and you took care of her when I was away I don't think she ever learned her real name, she just used to just call her NEGRITAAAA (usually yelling at one of the 4-6 dogs that occupy the house on any given day), the same way your mom never ever calls me Rachel but only La Macha or MACHAAA if we'd done something bad (which was often). No one in your entire family ever called me anything except Macha (which freely translated means Blondie) so I was confused when she called me Rachel today. Death makes things more proper I guess... Or maybe just different. We hugged and hugged and hugged. And cried and laughed. And ate. Overall a very normal evening at your house except for the flowers in the hallway. And the urn with your ashes upstairs. I couldn't allow myself to cry seeing you because I wouldn't have been able to keep it together if I started and I really really want to be ok here.

We watched my absolute favorite video clip that I ever took of you, from just two weeks ago at the festival. You're wearing your blue wig and a crown of flowers and lots of glitter and showing me your amazing dance moves before falling into a pile of laughter on the floor. The song is "Dancing in the Moonlight" by Toploader and we've watched this video so many times this week Dennis asked me today if maybe this should be our wedding song. I love him. And I love being with your family. I will never fall apart here, there is too much life in this house and also many many people to be strong for.
Lying in your bed now. Dennis is sleeping. I hope you listen in on the conversations we are all having and that you see the love that has brought us all together. So many people love and miss you. So many. Dulces sueños mi gotita de amor

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