スカイラー・カーギルさんのインスタグラム写真 - (スカイラー・カーギルInstagram)「an overdue post to share with y’all that i am so, so grateful to have friends. not just friends, but folks to count on. folks to enjoy time spent together. folks to organize dinner parties for because i just want to see them, their loves, and share the same space. . . this past year taught me a lot. it showed me that i didn’t treat the people i care about with the respect they deserve. i learned that my actions had some serious consequences, i was confrontational, i was suspicious, i wasn’t communicating in the proper ways. i look back on how this whole journey affected my life - work, relationships, growth. i broke promises and didn’t even realize it. i stayed awake for weeks and manifested in my mind a reality that was not.. where i want to be. it wasn’t grounded in the same reality that existed around me. . . a little over a month ago, i asked reed to take me to the hospital. i sat, wringing my hands, sweating and shaking, in front of a stranger. she took notes and then i asked if reed could be in there with me and she said yes. we answered a bunch of questions honestly and i left that day, raw and vulnerable, with the diagnosis that i have bipolar disorder. . . i initially felt like being bipolar would define me. even my mom said “don’t tell people you are bipolar. not because you are ashamed but because they won’t understand and you are more than just that.” . . it takes a lot to not look back and have regrets. i spend a lot of time journaling, while i’m adjusting to so many different medications, and one thread remains constant - i’m not a different person now that i know i have bipolar. i still have my optimistic, goofy personality. i will always be that being, maybe with a bit more awareness about my feelings, but i’ll always be myself. . . that being said - i haven’t been great or reliable, and i am so sorry. i am thankful for the folks who stuck it out with me, even without knowing what the heck we were stuck in, because damn. this awareness feels good and i just wanted you to know that i will be better, i am getting better. #bipolar #love #friends #ftm #recovering」1月6日 7時32分