Ashley Jamesさんのインスタグラム写真 - (Ashley JamesInstagram)「The most perfect birthday in France - the first as a family of 4. ❤️ I've had such a lovely day, I feel so grateful. The lunch we had with Tommy and his family. The fact I'm here - healthy and with a family of my own - with two beautiful babies. But can I be really honest? I also freak out about getting older and I hate myself for it. I remember the first time I started to feel icky about getting older - it was my 25th birthday. I remember joking about being so old. It feels like yesterday - and yet, a whole decade has gone. And I was so young. I know I'll look back now, like I do now, and think why on earth did I worry when I was still so young. I tell myself that ageing is a blessing, which it is. That life gets better as you grow older. That people achieve amazing things past 30. But there's that ageist narrative that creeps into my head. Again, I hate it. I'm so self critical of my appearance. I notice ageing. But I tell myself I've also just gone through ageing and I haven't slept a full night pretty much since Alf was born. And anyway, appearance shouldn't matter. I also feel like life has sped up since lockdown. Does anyone else feel like that? Maybe it's since having children. I definitely think about life and mortality more since having my babies. And it's weird, because I'm so much happier now than I was in my 20s. I'm so much more confident. I know myself better. My friendships are stronger. I love my job. I have the perfect partner. I have two gorgeous babies. My sense of style is better. There's more depth to my relationships. So why would I ever want to go back to being a decade younger? To being that version of myself. So today, I'm trying to stop my brain from taking away the joy of today. I'm telling myself that the average life expectancy is 84 so I'm not even half way through life. that there is so much adventure ahead. adventures with my friends and my family. I get to watch Alf and Ada grow. I'd love to hear your stories of how life gets better every year. Anyway, thank you so much for all the birthday wishes. I've felt so loved from my online family. Thank you. You guys are honestly the best. 🙏❤️」4月3日 4時35分