Ashley Jamesさんのインスタグラム写真 - (Ashley JamesInstagram)「How to attract (and maintain) healthy relationships, and how to recognize and avoid codependent ones. ❤️ I talked yesterday on stories about codependency and recognizing toxic patterns and habits within our own dating patterns so thought it continue the conversation here as it's something I wish I had discover earlier. It took me years to discover I was a love addict, that being what I saw as a "hopeless romantic" actually stemmed from an inner insecurity to be loved. In a relationship I'd cancel plans and avoid making my own plans in the hope I could spend ALL my time with my partner or allow jealousy to consume me or ruin a relationship (often the jealousy was justified but I should have walked away). When single I'd attract emotionally unavailable people, obsess over them, and ignore red flags. Sound familiar? In order to be in a healthy relationship, you have to learn to be healthy too - develop boundaries, recognize red flags, stop obsessing over people who don't respect you. Here's some work you can do: Change the narrative: stop worrying if they like you, and ask yourself if you like them. What values have they shown you like or are you just trying to fill a love-shaped hole. Don't let yourself obsess over someone before you actually know them. Stay away from their page, stop reading into their likes (and if you are doing this question if you have a reason not to trust them - is your gut trying to show you a red flag?). It's a hard habit to break. Don't ignore red flags... They'll come back and bite you later. Don't be too understanding of excuses because you're "nice". You're not their mum or therapist, and it doesn't matter what they have going on their lives if they're treating you less than you deserve. Plus, often people make excuses when they're just not that into you but need your attention so want to keep you around. Remember you deserve to be on a pedestal too. If you're in a relationship, create healthy boundaries & keep checking yourself. Make plans independent of them, even if you can't bear the thought of being without them. Check your insecurities but question where they come from. Being jealous won't stop them from cheating etc ❤️」8月11日 20時46分