Ashley Jamesのインスタグラム(ashleylouisejames) - 8月22日 04時51分

Finally got a clip from my morning at @gmb discussing the NHS South East London cancelling IVF treatment for single women. I'd love to know your thoughts on this (whether you agree with me or not). 😘
So to be clear, I understand that the NHS is on its knees and that IVF is not a life / death situation, but I do feel anger and disappointment in them singling out single women and being derogatory about the capability of single mothers.
Here's my thing, and I feel strongly about it as I have a couple of single female friends who are in their late 30's going through either adoption or IVF treatment. Being single is NOT a lifestyle choice, it's a harsh reality of modern life: some women just haven't found the right person before they biologically run out of time. Research shows the key driver for women choosing to be single mother's is the lack of male partners prepared to commit to parenthood.
Next, regarding the attack on the capabilities of single mother's, a social psychologist, DR Sophie Zadeh, said there is absolutely no difference between children who grow up in 1 or 2 parent households.
Infact, the most traumatic thing for children is growing up amongst arguing parents during and after divorce.
So whilst I'm on the subject of divorce, the divorce rate is 42%. Being in a couple doesn't guarantee the child will be raised any better, or that it won't be part of a single parent household. (Read that in a brilliant article on the subject in the Guardian which is worth a read). I'd also like to point out that to go through IVF means it's a PLANNED and very wanted pregnancy. People have unwanted children all the time in or out of relationships, and the NHS pays for all the process and they get child-support no questions asked (as they should by the way). Same as smokers get access to healthcare etc.
There's a lot of single discrimination already, (like the questions I was asked in getting a mortgage, the fact I had to pay the same amount of stamp duty as a couple going halves etc). The NHS is a service for EVERYONE (including same-sex couples before that comes up too), and IVF shouldn't only be an option for the wealthy.
But what do you guys think? ♀️ #ivf

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l0rie304 I completly agree with you Ashley. Finding a partner to settle down with and have a family with is a very fortunate situation, one of which many people do not get to experience so all that should really matter is that the single person wants that child. We don't want to encourage younger couples to have children too early on, to settle for that person in their lives right now person just so they will have their biology on their side. Secondly, I think some make the argument and assumption that a single parent will have lack of support around them. Just because a child may have two sets of parents doesn't mean that they will have two sets of grandparents and extra family members indicating a much wider network. There are pleantly of couples whos family live too far away to physically help out or have sadly passed or for whatever reason they have nothing to do with one another. A single person planning a pregnancy will have planned how they will manage, what network of people they have around them and how they will cope financially, perhaps even more so than a couple would because they automatically have one another. All that should matter is that a child is wanted and the parent wants to do their best to take care of them ❤️

juliette9704 I agree, I was fortunate enough to find the right man and then go on to have a gorgeous baby without difficulty. I have friends not so fortunate ... I appreciate the NHS is on its knees financially but let’s not discriminate, offer to all, and perhaps controversially, they could look to a little less Cosmetic surgery and fund IVF instead. The mental torture for any single person, or couple, not able to conceive a baby is huge, whilst I hear the argument that having a baby is not a right but a privilege I’d be interested to see research into mental well-being around those that cannot. Good on you for bringing the whole IVF discussion to the forefront ... and I might add some of the best Mothers I know are single

ldowland13 I think with the NHS the way it is, the money should be used for the most serious and needy of cases such as cancer treatment, and other kinds of life saving treatment. I knew a girl that was struggling to have children because her previous partner had a vasectomy before he met her. He was 40 and she was early 20s, they couldn’t get ivf on the nhs either as he already had children. I think if you start offering IVF to single women you need to start offering to everyone in all different situations? While I agree single women shouldn’t be alienated from the thought process, I do think that the money should be spent elsewhere.

nadiya_shehzadfmmx What i dont get is how will any single person be able to go to work to pay for a living and said child if they wana have a kid too. Who will look after the baby? People have ivf and other complicated methids of conception and are desperate for children only to then hand them over to daycare centres so they can go to work? I dont get it. You need 2 people to make it work. Parenting is hard. And yes i know single mothers and fathers but they are not single by choice.

hartrik My take on it is this. If you are unable to have a child due to medical reasons, then it makes sense that the NHS, as a health service, will help you do this - single or not. However, I don’t believe that the NHS should pay for treatment in woman who are perfectly able to get pregnant the ‘natural’ way. The NHS does not have unlimited funds unfortunately and there has to be a line somewhere.

aliyah.akh exactly why on earth would you deprive the child from having a father. Its weird. find partner and have a baby ,otherwise those couples who try for years deserve it more then people like Ashley. Not many single parents can cope either ,she ll just carry on working and dump her kids on some carer

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