ニーナ・メルセデスのインスタグラム(lifewithmariza) - 11月23日 06時48分

Ahh it’s been a whirlwind week, Thanksgiving week is always a blur. For those that have been following me for a while will remember my dad passed on Thanksgiving. We lost my mom less than 60 days prior and my dad overdosed a day prior to Thanksgiving. I remember them bringing us plates at the hospital a few hours prior to taking my dad off the machines. he passed late Thanksgiving night.
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For years I ruined Thanksgiving for myself and those around me. I was angry and the holiday was just a reminder for me of feeling abandoned by my dad. I refused to mourn my dads death in sorrow rather I was so angry that I pushed everything down. Angry at my dad angry at thanksgiving just angry with life.
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When you push feelings down they manifest into anger and hate and bring out the worst in you. Eventually it will spill over and come out and it’s worse. Being Latina we are taught to not feel things my parents always said “stop crying” rather than hugging me and saying “it’s okay”. Honestly I feel like I didn’t know how to process emotion correctly. I think many people are like that but don’t admit it.
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Over the last 6-7 years I’ve gotten better with Thanksgiving I tell myself this is for my kids and not about people who have passed on. My husband intentionally plans trips for me on Thanksgiving. For me the escape is good, this year we’re going to Great Wolf to have fun they have a great Thanksgiving Buffet.
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Today will be about my kids Thanksgiving experience. I will eventually cry today just to release the emotion but I will no longer say the words “I hate Thanksgiving” I will no longer live in the past or create my own perception of my dads thoughts and actions. Only he knows what he was feeling and why he chose to do what he did the way he did but it’s not a reflection of my worth.
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I hope you all have a great holiday ❤️
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#transformation #selfworth #higherself #soul #love #thanksgiving #loss #family #fitmom #life #lifestyle

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