レイチェル・ブレイセンさんのインスタグラム写真 - (レイチェル・ブレイセンInstagram)「Earlier this year I felt a longing in my bones that I just couldn’t get away from:⁣ ⁣ I wanted to slow down. ⁣ ⁣ I wanted to change my life. I needed to change my life. After a year and a half of being burnt out, constantly getting sick and feeling beyond awful, I knew I had to make a change. The problem was I didn’t know how to go about it. I wanted to slow down and operate at a different pace but I knew that “slowing down” was a mere idea in my head. ⁣ ⁣ My entire life, I’ve been everything but slow. I know how to work, how to initiate, how to stay busy, how to keep going. And when you’ve lived your entire life like that, finding a new way to approach life doesn’t happen easily. It would take more than setting an intention, more than talking about it, more than wishing for it. Slowing down wouldn’t just mean taking on less work, or traveling less, or changing my schedule. It would have to involve a complete re-calibration of my being. ⁣ ⁣ I was contemplating this today; where I was earlier in the year and where I am now. What I longed for then, and what I long for now. And for the first time all year it clicked: I did it. I actually made that change. I recalibrated. My life now is exactly what I longed for then: it’s slow. It’s intentional. I feel inspired, but I’m not in a rush. I can create without pressure. That stress I always felt lingering is gone. ⁣ ⁣ I am where I longed to be. ⁣ ⁣ I didn’t know it then, but a series of unbelievably challenging events would unfold and I’d come to ask myself again and again: why was this happening to me? I would suffer so much loss. Everything hurt. And then it would hurt again. And again. For most of this year, I felt like nothing made sense. ⁣ ⁣ Now, many moons later, I know that none of those things happened to me. They happened for me. ⁣ ⁣ If it weren’t for the struggles that this year brought, I wouldn’t be here now. There would be a different version of Rachel sitting here. I wouldn’t have been able recalibrate on my own. I needed life to help me along - to wake me up. ⁣ ⁣ Everything had to happen the way it did so I could be here the way I am now. ⁣ ⁣ It hurt. It was beautiful. And I am grateful.⁣ #2020」10月19日 22時35分