Sarah Ramadanさんのインスタグラム写真 - (Sarah RamadanInstagram)「part two: ⠀ At age 13 I was a self-proclaimed perfectionist. With nothing sufficient enough to fuel my drug of choice that was overachieving, I was looking for alternative routes. Soccer games couldn’t scratch the itch, nor could straight As or the approval from my parents. I wanted something I could individually access, assess, and was strictly for me. ⠀ I just wanted to be good enough for myself. ⠀ And then it hit me. I was 14 and in the heat of high school’s horrifying hunt of peer-approval when my eureka moment was conceived. It was after gym class that a couple of girls we’re talking about their 2-workouts-a-day solution to weight loss. To me they were already perfect. But their yearn to lose weight struck a chord in me I never knew I had. ⠀ Losing weight was all of a sudden the answer I’ve always been looking for. It was something I could do for myself and by myself. The add-on of social acceptance was merely a bonus to my self-initiated project. ⠀ And you know what? It was almost too good to be true. (lol at my foreshadowing skills) ⠀ — ⠀ And so my story went from a happy girl that ate hummus by the spoon to a girl so hungry for her own love that she starved her own body and soul instead. ⠀ I was hospitalized more times than my fingers could count. I was forced to eat, forced into treatment, and forced to stop killing myself. ⠀ And it sorta kinda worked for a bit. I didn’t end up dying! ⠀ But my last dance with ED was a close one. ⠀ I just turned 18 and was officially tired of life’s bs. I forgot how to live my life beyond hospital walls and crying over every meal. And I was more committed to anorexia’s promises than whatever my medical team had to say. ⠀ It was either fighting off what you’ve known for years or fighting yourself. I chose the latter. ⠀ Wasn’t my best decision making moment if I’m being honest. Because I got down to skin and bones and my body dysmorphia told me otherwise. ⠀ The stats: ⠀ Estrogen levels: undetectable Skin status: Sahara Dessert Personal Iron Man: walking up a flight of stairs Food source: the remaining muscle on my body ⠀」7月27日 5時54分