ルイーズ・ペントランドのインスタグラム(louisepentland) - 8月16日 03時55分
Have you heard that saying thing about you only having 18 summers🌻 with your child so cherish them? I love it because it makes me appreciate💖 time a bit more but wow it stresses me out!
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I think about it and then think, ‘yes, it’s right! I need to spend every day making special memories and every second is precious’, then, when I can’t do that, when I have to go to work or nobody is in a very precious mood, I feel like I’m failing or wasting time and soon one more of my 18 summers will be gone and I’ve not done it ‘right’ somehow! Argh!🤯
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Am I alone in being this intense or does anyone else feel this a bit too?
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I’ve decided to set a few boundaries in my mind so I don’t spin down into that really unhelpful thought spiral. I try to have a nice moment each day with both girls. It could be that we have loads of lovely moments (like today) but it might just have to be a loving FaceTime call or a few minutes together and that’s ok.
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Personally (I don’t want to bracket everyone together), it’s unrealistic for me to spend every day doing fun/exciting/special things with my children and I can’t feel guilty about that all the flipping time. 😪
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Today was lovely. We went for a family day out (I’ve vlogged it woohoo) and Darcy was a totally fearless on the zipwire💪🏻! It was really nice to spend the whole day soaking them up but I know I can’t do that 24/7 and I’m reminding myself that that’s OK.❤️
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Bit of a brain dump there, maybe a bit messy but I know what I mean! Hope you kind of do too? 💫🌻✨ #LPMumLife
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mikeandhillary
I totally understand where you are coming from, those thoughts are overwhelming and can be very stressful. Time seems to just fly by doesn't it!?! I have 4 grown sons and it seems like all I did was blink and they grew up. I can tell you from experience though that 18 came and went and we are all still making wonderful memories together. It's different of coarse than the memories we made when they were little, but in a way it's even more fun now. So try not to limit yourself to that time frame of 18 yrs, I did that myself and it gave me great angst. I can tell you from experience that only you and yours get to dictate how your time frame plays out, you create the family life and bonds that you want, so don't let the standards of those around you dictate your experience or expectations. I used to (and still should) write down important events or funny moments or memorable things they would say or do throughout each year on individual scraps of paper and put them in a Mason jar. At the end of the year we would read each scrap and have a grand laugh down memory lane. The best memories were generally made in the most random moments. I still have all of those scraps, they're a treasure! . It's going to be OK, youre doing a good job, making memories with your girls doesn't have to come with any pressure or an expiration. ❤️
emmakittyxo
I moved away to university at 19 and then returned home at 29 with my partner and our little girl, I probably spent 12 of the first years with my parents in the summer ( angry teenager for the rest 😂) but we spend all our time together now I am back home and these are new special memories as we are reliving old ones but with my daughter ☺️ personally now I’m a mum I worry that we don’t do enough, but I also remind myself that jobs have to be done, work has to exist or we cannot pay for then nice days/ a house to live in! And also children aren’t nice all the time so you may not want to spend the perfect day with them 😂 anxiety is horrible, but as long as they know they are loved I think that’s all that matters 💕 And you are doing a wonderful job, being self employed and raising small children is HARD 💞✨💞
haychey40
Hi @louisepentland I’ve read so much criticism of this phrase on Instagram but I too like it. I don’t believe that it’s putting pressure on Mums and Dads at all. Parents of children or not, we’re all guilty of putting things off and thinking there’s always another summer, another Christmas, another weekend to do things. Also, I’ve been overweight this last year and so all the photos I take have everyone in it but me. My plan is to be in plenty of photos once I’m the weight I want to be. Again, putting things off. How many parents don’t swim in the sea with their children because they’re body conscious or don’t appear in photos for the same reason? My belief is that this phrase is just a reminder that none of that matters. Have the moments and capture the moments while you can
trin_fairless
As a 19 year old myself, I grew up with both my parents spending time going out and then taking days calm at home, my mum is severely mentally ill and my dad, well, he doesn’t usually go out much apart from work and home. I still feel that even though I’ve looked after mum and watched other people go jetting off, my life has been lovely! It’s a balance of love and as long as you have a couple of precious memories then there’s nothing to feel guilty about!!! Also, even though I’m now past the ‘kid stage’ my family and I still go to Alton towers or even just the forest near us! For the entirety of my life I’ll grow doing fun things with the fam! Never feel like you’re not doing enough, all that matters is that you love your family and hold them close to your heart✨
canvasdeluxe
Exactly the same position. I've just returned to my self employed job (I work at home with my 1 year old) creating personalised canvas and I feel guilty doing that even though I'm right beside her everyday. I always want make memories with her that are fun.. but then the income buys opportunities and places to go for her. I've always suffered terribly from mum guilt. My head works the same as yours.. I try and split myself so many ways and if I do something for myself, I have to do twice as much for her. I also try and do one activity a day with her that she enjoys... I think it's our past experiences and the amount of pressure we put on ourselves to be a good mum and not damage their childhood as ours once were. It's definitely intense xx
dragonflymoonsoul
This is literally why I watch your vlogs....to calm me down and not get too worked up and to inspire me to find a way although you are miles ahead of me on getting the balance right. My new favourite phrase is the juggle struggle after you mentioned it in your last vlog. Just look at your girls, they are turning into such wonderful people, you are doing such a fabulous job and mothers have always worked while their children played just the work might not be washing clothes by hand these days and instead building a career but somewhere along the lines this seemed to have been forgotten and mothers are made to feel guilty whatever decision they make. That needs to change, I definitely think mothers need more support in their role in society.
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