We renovated a house once, room by room. The tough rooms are always the kitchen and the bathroom...these places where our basic human needs are met *comfortably*. It's never easy to live in a construction zone, but to try to figure out how to cook and clean ourselves in the midst of another project on a deadline, where there's no time to work on our own home...has been a doozy. Things are misplaced constantly and it's not messy, it's dirty. I shower rarely, in someone else’s home, and dinner is a chore instead of what it once was…a pleasure. It's temporary, it's temporary, it's temporary. The mantra I'm repeating throughout every single day when we "come home" to construction when our jobs are construction. I can't escape the mess, however, and as we've been learning more about our personality types (I'm strongly INFJ with some Mediator tendencies and 93% turbulent) after reading the test out loud to take it, I'm realizing how I shut DOWN when I cannot have order. It's almost impossible for me to live in mess and chaos. I thought it was a flaw, something wrong with me (we jump to this, don't we?). I kept trying to overcome - I just needed to get better, be more adaptable, be more patient. Some of those are true, but I also need to start respecting myself. It's OKAY that I want to be organized. It's okay that I crave order, that this helps me THRIVE. I have so long been made fun of for these needs that I've suppressed them. I've let others' jokes made about my need for order affect that I need it. I started to think that I shouldn't live tiny because I could never do it the way others do. I would *personally* struggle without running water and electricity and I couldn't live in a van. I felt there was something wrong with ME because I need different things. I wanted to give up the lifestyle I love because I felt I wasn’t stripping us bare enough. I am more efficient, less anxious + stressed, kinder, and a better mom + wife when I can shower, when I can cook a meal in a lovely, albeit tiny, kitchen, when I have order and tidiness. It’s not tiny that’s the problem, it’s that I need to be organized. I need some comforts, and now I know that is okay.

birchandpineさん(@birchandpine)が投稿した動画 - 2018/01/30 08:56:55