Kate Oliverのインスタグラム(birchandpine) - 1月28日 05時22分

Eight years ago she made me a mama. On the first night, when we were alone again, just us, as we had been for the nine months she was in my belly, I held her in my arms in a dark hospital room. I prayed over her and whispered how much I loved her, and how I knew that we'd go through so much. I knew then that my marriage was struggling, and I saw what might be as if it had already happened. Motherhood, for me, wasn't what I'd hoped. She and I have often had to just survive - single motherhood doesn't lend itself to bonnets and ease, pie baking and sweet babbling from a basket nearby. It is just work and school and survival, it is not eating so your child can, it is choosing to pay for the safe, good daycare over the electric bill. We never really knew softer days, simpler days, we knew divorce and mess and studying and working and rushed bedtimes and mornings. I miss what we never got to know, and I miss it still, for I'm still working and surviving, no matter how it may appear from the outside, through these boxes, that though we have great love, and we have Ellen now, and we have one another, the mornings are rushed and bedtimes are rushed and you can't know it until you've been right here, watching time slip through your calloused and cut fingers, that with each passing birthday, she crawls onto your chest and she's bigger, stretched limbs on your limbs now, head tucked just like this. Her hands are no longer balled fists, but they hold you back, and your heart breaks for all the moments you never had and all the ones you did, and how beautiful this bond is, how seemingly unbreakable, and how it's all been for her and her alone and how she now looks at you and can now say "I understand, mama, I know you have to work. I love you."

[BIHAKUEN]UVシールド(UVShield)

>> 飲む日焼け止め！「UVシールド」を購入する