レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 3月16日 04時23分

Thoughts from a first-time mother
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•Holy shit. We have a baby. An actual baby. And not the kind you can tie on a leash when you go grocery shopping but an actual, real life human baby. Who decided we are even remotely equipped for this?
•Everyone talks about the love but god - what about the TERROR!? This tiny human being is both the most fragile and single most important thing I've ever held in my arms. I love her so much I don't know what to do with all of my emotions. She cried for a few minutes last night and choked on her own cry for a second before settling back at my breast. I was sweating in panic and literally had to be talked down from calling 911.
_ •Somehow both of these things are true: everything I do feels like it's wrong (how do you even hold a newborn baby?? Where is the instruction book?) but also, no one else knows how to do any of this better than I do. I'm equally insecure and overconfident about everything from diapers to her nails.
•For myself, I'm not registering things like hunger, thirst or having to use the bathroom. It's so strange. Unless someone puts food and water in front of me I don't eat - I'm so absorbed by her literally nothing else exists.
_ •Breastfeeding is amazing. And hard. My boobs ache and I can barely move because she eats 24/7 and I have no clue if I'm doing all of it right. And somehow its the most incredible thing I've experienced.
•When she cries a part of me just wants to die. It's the single saddest sound in the whole world. She cries like she just found out the whole world fell apart and I wasn't there to protect her (even though all she needs is a boob). When Dennis changes her I have to go in another room or I break down.
•I haven't slept since she was born but I'm not tired. I feel superhuman. I know I'm full of hormones and adrenaline and I'm not sure how long this feeling will last but hell, I AM! I created this perfect child. Just look at her. Look at her! How will I ever do anything but just lie here and look at her?
We are just getting started but it's day 3 (or wait, 2?!)... So far getting to know this little girl is the most magical experience of my life❤ #lealuna

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