Sarah Ramadanのインスタグラム(fightforgrowth) - 7月30日 15時24分

10 pounds up on the left, to today on the right- maintenance. Although the physical transformation is a huge achievement, it's the mental transition I'm most proud of.
Leaving Ed behind wasn't easy. Anxiously dwelling on the spontaneity of life and vulnerably exposing yourself to chances and risks isn't comforting. Gaining weight was both mentally and physically exhausting. Through recovery, I have felt the greatest pain I know, but simultaneously, this promise I have made to myself has made all the difference in my life. Today I live with authenticity, a notion both new and compelling.
After 4 911 calls and ambulance rides, 2 inpatient admissions (7.5 months in total), and 3 trips to the medical unit..... I'm here. Alive. In one piece. Stronger than ever, and destroying the illness that nearly took my life. There was a time when my medical team thought my heart would stop in less than 13 days. There was a time when I never believed tomorrow would exist, yet I was too numb to care. There was a time when eating made me less of a person, and the space I occupied on this earth was a million sins in one

The transition to recovery wasn't black to white. It is and continues to be a gradual process of growing and learning and failing and hurting and growing some more through the hurt. Recovery grants the notion of DISCOVERY, and I have found me in places I once was afraid to search.
I'm me, unapologetically growing, beating anorexia, and fighting for the growth I crave and deserve. I'm not always happy, but I'm no longer numb. All emotions are felt. There is a serene balance in my life I must continuously reassure and support. There is initiation, intention, and integrity alongside the steps I take.

I am growing and I won't let fear stop me anymore.

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