レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 10月2日 22時53分

Most evenings, the kindest thing I can do for myself is to just go to bed. ⁣
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My whole life I’ve been a bit of a night owl - I’m usually up late and I always felt like the best part of the day happens after the sun has set. I felt like going to bed early meant I was “missing out” on something (what exactly, im not sure) - it felt like a loss, the idea of an early nights sleep. ⁣
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In our regular day-to-day I normally eat dinner late and then stay up talking or with a movie, and I often end up answering emails all the way until going to bed. I never had a hard time falling asleep but my brain would be active all the way until the moment when I closed my eyes and I’d always wake up feeling groggy. On average, I’d probably get 6 hours of sleep a night. I never saw it as an issue.⁣
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Lately, I’ve come to understand that my inability to move into deep rest, and that wired feeling I experience at the end of the day, is something I’ve developed as a result of trauma. It’s not who I am, but a trait I developed as a child and spent my adult life reinforcing. ⁣
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I’ve always felt like I have to keep my eye on the ball. It’s my job to make sure that the world keeps spinning, that everyone is safe, that everyone is doing what they’re supposed to be doing. When you spend all day - all of your life - in that hyper vigilant state, winding down at the end of the day isn’t something that just happens on its own. My biggest realization of this year has been just how hard it is for me to take genuinely good care of myself and lately, the longing I feel in my bones to be kind to ME has become too strong for me to ignore.⁣
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So now I go to bed. At 8.30. It’s hard. It’s boring. It takes dedication. It requires me to listen more deeply to my body than I do to the chatter in my mind. But I do it. It’s not exciting and it doesn’t come with any flair or fun but I do it. I do it because I know now that the end of the day, the absolute kindest thing I can do for myself is to just. go. to. bed. ⁣
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I’m two weeks in to what feels like a new rhythm - a new way of life - and I feel so good. So good. ⁣
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What’s the absolute kindest thing you can do for yourself at the end of the day?💙

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