スカイラー・カーギルのインスタグラム(skylarkergil) - 7月23日 05時56分

mixed feelings about being on testosterone these days. not that i am not grateful for the 10.5 years that i’ve had to experience huge physical, emotional and mental changes - i am. 28 year old skylar would go back to 17 year old skylar and say “hey man. you won’t even believe how far you’ll go. thanks for not giving up - you got this!”
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the reality is, i still dreadddd injecting this drug once a week. i originally did it in my hip, but there’s not enough fat there anymore so i switched to my lower stomach - still not fun! i usually have my partner warm up the vial for me - mainly also to make sure i actually DO my shot 😂 i’ve skipped weeks by accident (anxiety saying “oh you’ll just do it tomorrow don’t worry” for.. yknow.. days in a row.)
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have any of y’all who have been on hormones of any kind felt that it doesn’t necessarily get *easier* over time? i feel like i used to celebrate every shot (lol especially in my youtube vlogs!) because i was so STOKED for my voice lowering, hair growing, everything. now it’s more of a chore. a necessary chore, but a chore nonetheless!
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p.s. i will be in philly with my mom so come stop by my table and say hey!! heading down wednesday :)) ❤️💕
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#transandhappy #testosterone #vitamint #transguy #hormones #10years #transman #ftm #kisses

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satellights I feel the same most of the time. As soon as I got used to doing shots it became like a chore. Now I find most of the time I do my shots 3-4 days late (tho I’m on a 2 week cycle) because I’ve just gone “oh I can do that tomorrow”, and then tomorrow I just completely space and forget to do it (a habit that’s also common with lots of other things for me). Though I don’t really dread doing my shots or anything, and I’m not really annoyed by having to do them, it’s just become something that is neither fun nor not fun, so it just kind of blends into the background of life, it’s the same with brushing my teeth for me. I just forget to do it, and when I remember to I tend to just say “whatever I’ll do it tomorrow” then tomorrow I forget again (I’ve basically stopped going to the dentist at this point, but as a teen and early young adult my parents probably payed off my dentists mortgage and his kids school tuitions, and then some lmao). But yea anyway...it’s just one of those sort of weird things that you know is supposed to keep you healthy, but after a few years (or even just one year) there really aren’t any sort of real time instant results so it can feel like it’s not doing anything and thus may not be necessary, but it’s best to be safe than sorry so you wind up just saying you’ll “do it whenever the mood strikes” instead of at its specific scheduled time.

nathanftmbmx I can't do my shots myself. I always go in and have a nurse do it. I'm lucky enough to have that option, free of charge. It gets difficult sometimes when I have a lot going on since it is about 30 mins from where I've been living the past 2 years (longer than that, but I've only been on t for 2 lol). My car isn't the most reliable either ? emotionally tho, I've stayed on the same level of excitement for the past year and a half. I always look forward to it. I'm not really experiencing too many changes anymore, but I love my nurses and the receptionists! It's so nice to catch up with them every week and talk some politics and cats ? t itself is just so normalized for me at this point that I don't actively think about it, just activities surrounding the shot. It's also a great excuse to take my gf out to the other side of town without "wasting" gas ?

judeonajourney I remember my very first shot brought me so much joy, and slowly I began to notice that every few injections, it would get more and more difficult. I’ve only been on testosterone for a little less then half the time you have been. But my anxiety around the shot became unbearable and I began skipping weeks, that turned into a month. I went to my doctor (at Fenway health) and talked to them, and they put me on a gel. I’ve been on the gel for almost two weeks and so far it’s not too bad. It requires a little more time, but wayyyyy less anxiety and struggle. I highly recommend it. My doctor was telling me about other options too, but this is the one I wanted to try first. I have another friend whose been using the gel for a year now and he’s way more satisfied with it then the needles. There’s certainly options, and I wish you the best! Hope this helps!

genderfree_adventures Thanks for voicing this! Social media can be so insidiously fake positive that it’s easy to get lulled into thinking that everything, every time is all unicorns and rainbows. Unfortunately, it’s not. As someone who has multiple recent(ish) tattoos and a multitude of piercings, doing a T shot *shouldn’t* be too straining, right? Not so much. I’ve never been keen on shots, or blood draws, all of which are a very real and significant part of my life. After my recent stint in the hospital for mental health concerns turned suicide attempt and all the needles and drugs and scary crap that happened, I’m pretty gun shy with my shots. I’ve learned (slowly) to ask for help and have reached out to my best friend and ex-nurse to help me out. Either by doing them herself, or gently reminding me that it’s shot day. 🦄💜🌈

swampsama Im 8 years this September. I've always done my own shots in my glute, and I still get nervous that I'll hit my sciatic lol. That fear hasn't really gone away. I tried biweekly shots, but I think it messed with my mood too much in the second week. I used to miss a ton of shots from pure procrastination or forgetfulness ? but I've been really good about it this year since I've been forcing myself to utelize a dryboard calander thing on my wall that I have to look at every day. I'm a "list person" so I think seeing it on my calander helps me remember it as well as gives me full satisfaction when I cross it out ?

prinssielias Thanks for bringing this up! I do my shot every three weeks and even though it has gotten easier for me over time, it certainly isn't fun injecting yourself? I, like many transpeople have this voice inside my head telling me that if I'm not enjoying every bit of transitioning then I'm being ungrateful, but we need to remember that's not true at all! I like the way you describe injecting as a necessary chore because it shows the reality of transitioning; it's not necessarily about what you want to do, it's about what you have to do in order to survive and to be happy!

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