Catharine Mi-Sookのインスタグラム(catharinemisook) - 11月13日 11時01分

Somewhere along the way I was told that being more comfortable in my skin was associated with age: the older I get, the more confident I’ll feel. I don’t think that’s true, at least not for me. I remember in my mid to late 20’s, I felt so in tune. I had moxie, swagger and a twinge of sweet sass. I was single, independent, and for the most part, lived life on my terms. But I also had no one to see into my vulnerabilities, or challenge dormant insecurities, there was no deep intimacy shared, friends could only see so much. It was easier. Fast forward some years later, I was a single mom with a baby and a complex story. I went flat broke overnight, could have easily faced the reality of life in a women’s shelter and I had to draw on resources anywhere I could apply for them. I didn’t feel so confident anymore. And it took a long while before I gained my strength & stride again, and this time it was different, and I’d say for the better. How I saw and related to the world changed. The experience humbled me. Change does that. Even if it’s a welcome and happy change. It ushers in the unfamiliar and suddenly our ducks are not in their neatly planned rows anymore. It can feel like our self-confidence and esteem recede backwards. But I don’t think that’s the case. Flux doesn’t mean lack, it means process and growth and metamorphosis to come. Shedding old skin is highly uncomfortable and at times unpleasant even if the new one to be gained is infinitely better. It’s messy and awkward. Add the idiosyncratic issues we’re all working through, and thoughts of “what is wrong with me?” chime in and being hard on one’s self comes easy. I know this all too well. And you know what? It’s okay. We’re okay. In time there is a horizon waiting with a new dawn, and it ties all of it, the storm and the sun, together for the better and the good.
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