ニューヨーク・タイムズのインスタグラム(nytimes) - 11月18日 06時49分

“This was the first love, the real thing, the full symphony,” @zoe.kazan writes. The writer and actress was 19 when she fell in love for the first time. At the time, she’d been struggling with a bout of anorexia that made her drop 20 pounds. “The causes for my eating disorder ran along the usual lines: depression, an inability to express my rage, a desire to exert control, a desire to feel less, a desire to have my body express the things my voice could not,” @zoe.kazan writes. Love didn’t make her better, but it made her happier. She was seeing a therapist and had to be weighed multiple times a week. But when her boyfriend served her food, she ate it. “I thought if he knew there was something wrong with me, he wouldn’t want me,” she writes. It wasn’t until the end of a summer apart that she told him about her eating disorder. “Dragging the terrible thing into the light can strip it of its potency,” she writes. “I didn’t get better all at once. … But I set a change in motion that night, by telling that one person: This is me. I’m not perfect. Can you still love me?” @cenicola0 photographed @zoe.kazan, who’s appearing in the @rtc_nyc production of “Love, Love, Love” and in the horror movie “The Monster.”

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