ジュリアン・ワームさんのインスタグラム写真 - (ジュリアン・ワームInstagram)「Being too male to be considered female?!?! . Ever since my youth I felt torn between being ‘sufficiently’ female and the dream of becoming a strong climber, which involved having muscles and thus becoming a bit more male. I felt torn between doing training exercises and standing in front of the mirror at H&M as a teen, smashing tank tops due to having muscles. At times I didn’t want to do specific training exercises, because I didn’t like how they changed my body. I disliked how my biceps grew bigger from pull-ups, how I became broader from doing push-ups. . To a certain point having muscles as a woman is considered beautiful, but the point that makes you a successful sports person is often times a little further than that. I remember an endless amount of moments where friends, family, other competitors said how the sixpack of that random climber girl is a bit too much, how her biceps is a bit too big, how her back looks a bit too muscular, how she is a bit too massive in general. Over the time I developed the notion that there are two ‘no-goes’ for a female sports person: 1) being too lean and muscular at the same time, because that makes you look too fibrous; that looks a bit too morbid I suppose. 2) being muscular and a bit chubby, because that looks too massive and I guess too male. . Most of the time I felt like I’m not representing these ‘no-goes’, but I was always afraid of getting there and felt sorry for those who represented these ‘extreme’ body types - what the heck! . I felt like in conversations about female bodies in sports the terms ‘sporty’ or ‘muscular’ are often used as euphemisms for being ‘(too) male’. This notion involved to my understanding that the transitions are very smooth - between fibrous, lean, chubby, massive,... but the underlying system is very binary - sufficiently female or too male. My feelings accompanied by this notion went up and down and changed over the years and there were times where I loved my muscles or looking sporty (mostly when I was very much absorbed into the sports environment and successful), but there were many times where I felt like the elephant in the room (usually outside sports).」7月31日 21時22分