Helena Glazer Hodneさんのインスタグラム写真 - (Helena Glazer HodneInstagram)「On July 11th, I lost my dad💔. Exactly one month prior, he called to tell me that he was in the hospital because he was feeling incredibly sick. Over the course of the next few weeks, we discovered he had stage 4 colon cancer that spread to his liver. It was too hard for me to even talk about, so I never mentioned it here, but I tried to stay as hopeful as one could, while mentally preparing myself. The thing is, you're never prepared. He passed away in the hospital, about 30 minutes after I left. I've heard people talk about grief, but I never knew it could be so debilitating. I'll be standing there, making breakfast and the fact that he's no longer here will hit me like a big wave. You mean to tell me that if I call him, he won’t pick up? That can’t be right. He always picks up my calls!💔 Aside from being heartbroken, I've been feeling angry. Angry that covid prevented me from seeing him over the last few months. We went to bring him some groceries on his birthday (April 17th) and he came over to give me a hug and my response was.. "papa! don't get so close." The thought makes me sick to my stomach. Aside from feeling angry, I also feel guilty. Guilty for not calling him as much as I should have. Guilty for not checking in as much as I should have. Guilty for postponing certain plans. I know it's not healthy to feel this way, but I do. Hopefully one day I'll get to a place where I'm at peace. He was my #1 supporter. Whenever I'd publish a new blogpost, he'd email me to tell me it's my best one yet. He'd praise Keith on his evolving photography skills, even when we thought the photos weren't our best. He was also so proud of Keith and our entire family. There are so many things that will always remind me of him: tennis, the US Open (it was our yearly tradition - how will I even watch it on TV this year?), photography, chess, lasagna, green grapes, terriers, the Westminster dog show and the list goes on and on. My heart is currently broken, but I am trying to find gratitude in the fact that I had the best father, ever. I love you, papa. May you rest in peace. ❤️」7月18日 2時55分