レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 7月8日 06時56分

This made me cry for the third time today. First, I cried on the phone with @orothschild because I miss her so much and she is so pregnant and I’m unbearably far away. Then I cried in meditation. Then, when I opened Be Here Now to a random page and received this.⁣
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It’s day 26 of dynamic meditation for me which basically means I spend a non-negotiable hour a day feeling all my feelings. It’s non-negotiable because I can’t stop. It would feel bizarre, not doing it every day. Where would my feelings go? What would happen to my wounds and traumas if I didn’t have the dedicated space to scream them out from that guttural place within me where everything hurts all the time? ⁣
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I don’t know. I’m scared to find out so I keep going. It’s beautiful. It’s also fucking hard and it’s agony and it’s pain and it brings to surface everything I’ve kept buried because I’ve been too busy, or because I haven’t felt safe enough to hold it.⁣
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And today, day 26, mid-practice something snapped in my back and I couldn’t keep going so I just laid down on the floor and cried. I know it’s insane, doing this every day. There is no way I’ll be able to keep this up for the rest of my life. So when I stop - what then? I don’t want to go back to being “fine”. I don’t want to numb myself because I’m too scared to be with what’s in my body. I have to keep going. There is no other way.⁣
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So I laid on the floor and cried because all of this is so fucking hard and I’d rather be on the couch with my family or cook dinner or sit on my porch or anything other than do this strange practice over and over again.⁣
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Then, I brushed myself off. Finished my meditation. (I always do). And I opened to this page. ⁣
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Chopping wood and carrying water - doing our daily tasks; everything that makes up a life - is yoga. The yoga of daily life. The way to do it is: do what you do. ⁣
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And that’s just it. Do what you do. ⁣
Do what you do. ⁣
Do what you do. ⁣
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This is not a crisis. It might look like one, but it’s not. It’s a healing. A major, major healing. One I’ve waited my entire life to arrive to.⁣
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So I’ll do what I do.⁣
Here, now. ⁣
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and worry about tomorrow⁣
tomorrow.

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