レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 1月15日 03時03分

#10yearschallenge - this is so wild! Exactly 10 years ago I was... Younger? The photo on the left is from a Phish show in Chicago I went to with a friend and a bunch of people I barely knew. I’d scraped together money for the trip and slept on someone’s couch and the show was one of the most amazing experiences I’d ever had. By the end of it I’d decided I was going to be a Phishhead and follow them around forever and had already climbed into some Hawaiian guys car to road trip to the next show when my friend stopped me (I don’t know what was in the brownies I ate but they were delicious!)?⁣
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I hadn’t met Dennis yet and was still living in Costa Rica, waitressing and bartending to make ends meet. I had absolute zero fear of anything ever going wrong and I always said yes to everything. Ayahuasca on a whim with complete strangers in the jungle? Yes. Live in a commune without running water or electricity? Yes. Run off to Nicaragua with a reggae band without my passport? Yes. I was wild. I never had any money but somehow everything always worked out. I traveled, practiced yoga, surfed, drank tequila and made friends everywhere I went. I didn’t have a savings account, or a steady job, or a phone for that matter. I was happy - and clueless. Life was awesome... But I was also faking it. I look confident as hell but on the inside I was terrified. I had a past full of unresolved pain I didn’t want to deal with and was so terrified of commitment I’d run for the hills whenever I felt stagnant or whenever the guy I happened to be dating told me he loved me. ⁣
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I look at this photo of myself and I feel nostalgic; happy-sad. She doesn’t know it but this girl has some serious love, and some serious pain, coming her way. And so much hurt in her past it’s weighing her down to the point of self-sabotaging everything good and steady in her life. ⁣
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In 2009 I was happy... But I was a mess. ⁣
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Now, the picture on the right? My mom took it this morning. ⁣It’s 2019.
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It needs no explanation. ⁣ ?❤️? #2009vs2019 #thankyou

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