レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 11月7日 07時53分

???
When you’re home resting in the middle of yoga teacher training because your throat back and head is sore and you’re wallowing in your own misery feeling awful and then your teacher trainee group sends you this?
I am really, really bad at being sick. I’m bad at letting myself feel low, or be in pain, or be anything other than 100%, 100% of the time. But yes, it is what it is and my body needs me to stop right now. I am very lucky that it’s week 2 of our training and @lara.heimann is here to teach anatomy and movement and to be her amazing self as usual so actually, it’s not that big a deal that I’m home to rest. It’s just... I’m very, very bad at resting. I beat myself up about what I’m missing, or that I’m disappointing people, or I think of all the things I could be doing. Today I spent all day on the couch watching Peppa Pig. It’s been ok (ok aside from hanging with Luni I seriously hate it because I feel useless, who are we kidding). I still feel super low and I’m very aware that I haven’t been able to kick this cold because I simply haven’t had a chance to stop for a long time and now it’s showing up in my body. There is a big emotional connection here for me, having a hard time slowing down and feeling so uncomfortable being still. Sometimes I wonder, if I didn’t have yoga, where would I be?? (I envision myself as Phoebe in that “what if” episode of Friends where she is a stock broker and has a heart attack)? Anyway. I feel like I’m in a weird space right now because I don’t have any answers. I don’t know to be any other way than the way I am. I meditate and practice yoga and swim in the ocean and spend time with my baby and drink wine with my husband but also, I’m always working. I’m always moving, fixing, thinking, creating. I get fired up about everything. I want to make everything happen, right away. Even when I’m still, I’m not really... Sometimes to the expense of my health. How to be otherwise? I don’t know. Help! Should I start smoking weed? Serious question. All the stoners I know are so good at being chill. @supermodelmomma1 tells me I need CBD oil but maybe I just need to book that vacation??‍♀️ ok... done venting. Love u. x

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