レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 8月18日 18時01分

New hair wrap. Four years since I had the last one done. Underneath it is a braid that become a dread from the hair wrap @ahlaluna made me when I first met Dennis and I was moving out of the house her and I shared together. Everything was changing. We sat on the beach and she braided my hair and wrapped it in string and I braided hers but sucked at the wrapping part so I only did half and she finished the rest. And then we hugged goodbye and it was the hardest thing. I was so happy but I couldn’t stop crying because even though it was the beginning of everything it was the end of so much. A part of my life was over and I knew it. I left my best friend to go be with my boyfriend on some island I didn’t know but it was more than that. I got on a plane and started a whole new life and four years later I cut that hair wrap off on a whim. No reason. Just like that. A few weeks later @ahlaluna crashed her car and died and everything broke. She still had hers. I remember thinking how strange it was that I cut out a small piece of her right before she died. Like I was unconsciously untangling us so that I would have even a sliver of a chance of surviving her death. I felt guilty for cutting mine off. She was cremated with hers.
I had the same hair braided and wrapped after the funeral and I have kept it ever since.
It’s a weird thing. Those same roots are still wrapped and underneath the string is a braid that has become a giant dread but it’s hair that grew from a place that ties us together. Today the woman who re-did it for me cut the old string off and I held the end of the braid for a long time thinking how strange it is that it’s the same hair I had when she died. Shit happens and it changes us and sometimes we have to cut pieces of or hearts out and also some of our hair off just to be able to breathe. But it keeps growing, heart and hair all the same. In a way... Everything remains.
I thought I chose a piece of onyx for the end of the wrap but it turned out to be an obsidian which was even better.
I miss her. So fucking much.
It never gets easier.

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