??? ? • Funnily enough, i started the initial sketch for this before i came into the hospital..xD;; • Tl;dr: Im hospitalized again for this unknown heart disease and may need open heart surgery...for the 4th time....Grandfather also passed this weekend, so not a good pileup... • So.....it's been a while for those of you guys who don't follow me along on insta-story or twitter~ I've been hospitalized over a week ago due to an ongoing heart disease development. (Doc says it could be the same stuff that made my heart valve fuck up) Basically, one of my major heart valve has a 90% blockage from an abnormal tissue growth that's still ongoing and no one knows what's going on or what it is. It's apparently pretty dangerous where if the vein blocks completely, I'd probably die (or so the doctor says when I complained about being in the hospital hahaha). So it's pretty severe and the doctor wants me to prepare for another open heart surgery for a bypass to be put in, though I begged for them to try a stent first even if everyone's doubtful it'll work....i mean, stent is fairly non-invasive procedure, whereas open heart causes so much pain I've already been pretty traumatized from my last 3-in-a-row.....>__<;; Actually, my doctors have also suggested the possibilities of a heart transplant if they can't find a way to stop the growth and since the growth is only in my heart...but I really don't want to think about that...I'm so stressed out these days hahahaha...like, I'll just get waves of anxiety and heaviness in my chest, and palpitations...it doesn't help that my grandfather also just passed away a few days ago. what a terrible pile-on. Trying to be more positive though! Right now I'm in shitty limbo where I got to wait for procedures and tests to be scheduled and for the doctors to figure things out more from those results. For those of you guys who's seen my instagram stories and sent me messages, thank you lots. I'll probably keep twitter updated cause i'm too lazy to double-update on two social medias constantly. And thank you guys who bought me ko-fi ? Here's another cookie for making it this far~! Haha ?. Sorry for the rambling~ • #mood #sometimes #illustration

qinniartさん(@qinniart)が投稿した動画 - 2018/03/06 04:02:07