レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 5月23日 12時44分

I had my bachelorette party without you. You were planning this big party weekend in your place in Colombia and your mom lent you the keys and everybody was excited. But then you left us and you took most of life with you and I had a bachelorette party in Aruba instead. It was beautiful and the best day and night I've had in so long and even now I find myself giggling about all the madness that took place. I came home covered in glitter with dirty feet because of course I lost my shoes and I sat down on the bedroom floor and I thought of you because we used to lose our shoes together so often we would share one pair; I'd stay with the right one and you with the left. And we'd walk like that, arm in arm almost falling over with laughter because how could we ever explain the next day that only one of our feet was dirty and the other one clean. It was the funniest thing. And I thought of you and like I always do, because there is no in between, I cried. I cried and both of my feet were dirty because I lost my shoes and I had no one to share a pair with. I cried and cried and cried even though it was the happiest night ever I cried because where were you? I'm getting married and where are you? There is a dress you're supposed to be wearing when I say I do that will stay on it's hanger. Where are you?
I wanted to write you but couldn't find my phone. I turned my purse upside down and shook it and out came not my phone but your shirt. Your shirt. A shirt that was yours that I love and also your mala beads that I'm so scared to lose that I only wear them when I'm home or when I'm teaching but never when I go outside. I have no recollection of putting any of it in there. They were in my bag the whole time, for 15 hours of bachelorette party madness with dancing and drinking and sailing and laughing and falling over and being barefoot. Your shirt and your mala beads were in my purse and I lost my shoes and my crown that night but I didn't lose you. You were there.

You were there.

I fell asleep calm, drunk, happy. Both of my feet dirty but also clean because you didn't leave my side not even once

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