ナディア・ダジャニさんのインスタグラム写真 - (ナディア・ダジャニInstagram)「Grief. I need to talk about it. It is the eve of the 1st anniversary of my brother Geeby’s death. Those are hard words to write. Words i never thought i would write. I have spent a year in the most hidden, gut wrenching pain missing my brother. It catches me when I’m not prepared, doing something banal like walking up a flight of stairs. And then before i know it I’m doubled over, on my knees and hearing painful screams I realize are my own. I have read a lot about grief. And healing. And mostly the message is to get past it. But no one talks about when you don’t want to get past it. I will never be healed from the hole in my heart. The pain is sometimes so palpable that i can’t believe I’m still able to breathe. Grief is one of the things that connects every single person on this planet. It’s inevitable, and someday every single one of us will feel it. The night Geeby died i walked home in silence. I watched the streets of NYC bustling and readying itself for Christmas. It felt like i was floating and some higher power was moving my lungs and legs for me. I remember feeling betrayed that the streets didn’t even blink and that felt barbaric. But i also understood that life just has to keep moving forward. And my struggle has been caught in between these two feelings for a year. Grief can break you. Grief has broken me. I am a broken person who has become really adept at faking my outsides. All I’ve prayed for is one more day with my brother. But that was a lie. What i want is 100 more days, and then 100 after that. What I’ve learned is that there will never be enough time left to satisfy the time you need with those you love. And it’s a horrible feeling. And I’m one of the lucky ones, I’ve had incredible experiences and have built an army of the most supportive and loving people around me. And it’s not enough. Time was the foe i didn’t know i was fighting. I don’t know anything, but i know we have to talk about grief no matter how uncomfortable it is. Because it can’t be healed. I’d like to believe that I’m something better than these broken parts, i am not. I always knew that one day Geeby would die, i just thought it would be one day after me.」12月21日 10時57分