マット・マクゴリーさんのインスタグラム写真 - (マット・マクゴリーInstagram)「"Beyond Survival" Edited by Ejeris Dixon ( @ejeris ) and Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha ( @leahlakshmiwrites ) CW: abuse & suicide # This was definitely one of my favorite books of the year. In order to achieve liberation, we must be able to vision towards the possibilities for healing in our relationships and communities. And the Transformative Justice movement has been leading in this theory and practice. As I first heard @Jlovecalderon say, "love plus accountability equals liberation." # "Shame and social stigma are powerful emotional forces that can prevent us from holding ourselves accountable for being abusive. We don’t want to admit to “being that person,” so we don’t admit to having been abusive at all. Some people might suggest that people who have been abusive ought to feel shame - after all, perpetrating abuse is wrong. I would argue, though, that this is where the difference between guilt and shame is key. Guilt is feeling bad about something you’ve done; shame is feeling bad about who you are. People who have been abusive should feel guilty for the specific acts of abuse they are responsible for. They should not feel shame about who they are because this means that abuse has become a part of their identity. It means that they believe that they are fundamentally a bad person - in other words, “an abuser.” But if you believe that you are an “abuser,” a bad person who hurts others, then you have already lost the struggle for change - because we cannot change who we are. If you believe that you are a fundamentally good person who has done hurtful or abusive things, then you open the possibility for change. Being accountable is not about earning forgiveness. That is to say, it doesn’t matter how accountable you are - nobody has to forgive you for being abusive, least of all the person you have abused. In fact, using the process of “doing” accountability to manipulate or coerce someone into giving their forgiveness to you is an extension of the abuse dynamic. It centers the abuser, not the survivor. One shouldn’t aim for forgiveness when holding oneself accountable." # My Booklist: bit.ly/mcgreads (in bio) #McGReads」7月25日 7時17分