マイア・シブタニさんのインスタグラム写真 - (マイア・シブタニInstagram)「It feels good to be in a new month. Spring is coming and I’m making progress. The other day I had a personal breakthrough...an epiphany. I decided that based on my recent health experiences, I don’t want to think of the past few months or what I’m doing now as “recovery”. Since December, I have used this word and I have heard many well-intentioned people use this word as well. I’m dorky, so I looked up the definition. The first two that show up are: 1. a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength. 2. the action or process of regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost. My question is: What exactly am I trying to “recover”? When people say: “you’ll be back to being you in no time”, that has sounded off to me and now I know why. My current state is my “new normal”. Since we are a composite of all of our experiences, I am me right now. The past three months have changed who I am. I can’t change that I had cancer and needed surgery, or that healing is taking longer than I expected. I can’t go back, and I’ve realized that I don’t want to. These days, I am appreciating every second more and am trying to be the best me I can be in the moment. I’ve realized to an even greater extent that it’s ok to be vulnerable and accept help. There have been really sad and scary times and I haven’t spent the past few months like I originally planned. Because the tumor on my kidney was found and removed, I’m choosing to believe that the time that was “lost” is time that I’m being given. Choosing to heal, take care of myself, and be patient is a worthy use of time. Right now, I’m choosing to be present, grateful, and commit myself to learning, growing, and getting stronger.」3月6日 10時32分