アンナ・パキンのインスタグラム(_annapaquin) - 8月7日 15時48分

And then I feel guilt/shame for in any way seeing someone else’s joy and not just feeling happy for them... So today I’m trying to focus on what I’m grateful for. I am deeply grateful my “micro preemies” lived, grew, learned to take feeds their way, eventually came home from the NICU, thrived and have grown into healthy, happy, intelligent humans. #worldbreastfeedingweek #nicumummies #preemies (oh and at some point let’s chat about c-sections... and it not “counting as giving birth”... )

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anneof.lee I breastfed all three of my children. My third was born by emergency c section and had tongue tie and had jaundice. My husband was a self employed carpenter so had to go back to work pretty much straight away. The doctors told me to ‘take it easy’ but how can you do that when you have a 4 yr old, 2 yr old and newborn to take care of and feed? I needed to get the baby’s tongue tie cut as while I was just about managing to feed it was stressful; I contracted mastitis twice and then my scar got infected. I honestly thought I was going to die. I had to fight tooth and nail to get an appointment and when I did show up (I had to take the bus with all three kids because legally you can’t drive for six weeks after a c section) they tried to turn me away. He was a good weight and was still breastfeeding. I explained that the only reason for that was because I had already nursed my other two (and was still nursing my two yr old) and I was a certified breastfeeding peer supporter so I knew what I was doing. Even so they still tried to turn me away. I refused to leave until they removed the tongue tie. Within days breastfeeding was getting much better and I was feeling a lot less stressed. But what if I’d been a first time mum? Or it had been my first time breastfeeding? There is absolutely no way I would have been able to carry on breastfeeding. When a woman isn’t able to continue breastfeeding it is never her fault it is always due to circumstances beyond her control of complete lack of support from the healthcare system in her area. Unless of course she has decided from the outset that breastfeeding just isn’t for her which of course is cool also. 💕💕

melhuiarmstrong I personally have thanked my lucky stars I have been breastfeed my twin girls for the last 8 months, especially being 8 weeks preemie. But I’m also very mindful that other mothers were not given the same opportunity and therefore I have felt other posts about world breastfeeding week were about having a humble brag rather than raising awareness. That is of course only my personally feelings about it. This week has also given me mixed feelings as my supply has now reduced heavily and I’m running out of frozen stock due to returning to work after 6 months. The guilt of the thought stopping breastfeeding has overwhelmed me, but also the fear of feeling ungrateful leaves me too embarrassed to “complain”. There is so much taboo about the guilt you experience as a mother (and father), society forces you to act like everything is perfect. You are definitely not alone, even if we experience our journeys in different ways. Xo

katiemunshaw I know exactly how you feel. My son was born at 26 weeks and 3 days gestation and spent 73 days in the NICU. I was able to produce enough milk for the first 6 weeks of his life and then it had to be supplemented with formula. I tried everything, funugreek, domperidon, power pumping, anything I could do and I could never get more than half of the minimum. It made me feel like I was failing my micro preemie and I felt so guilty and ashamed of myself everytime I pumped and there was so little there. My son is now 4 weeks old corrected and gets breast milk supplemented with formula, mostly formula, I can't pump anymore, anytime I try it just brings such bad feelings that I stopped because it was harming my mental health. At the end of the day fed is best and us NICU moms need to stick together. Having micro preemies is hard enough, we don't need to be shamed for caring for our babies in the best way we can.

amberchamplin Omg @_annapaquin I had no idea you had preemies. As a preemie mom I felt this sooooo deeply. I tried my hardest to pump for 16 days straight while my son was in the NICU (I had a blood clot that ruptured in my uterus and had to have an emergency csection) and it was by far the most horrible feeling and experience to not be able to give your child something they desperately need to grow meanwhile watching other mothers in the NICU bringing in bags full of milk for their babies 😔😔 it's so hard not to feel like less of a mother. I'm so happy my son survived though, although he does have cerebral palsy from the blood clot cutting off the umbilical cord and thus his oxygen supply, I am eternally grateful. It's a humbling and strength building experience to have a preemie and I really hope your children thrive! Thank you for being so honest, it's not a topic generally discussed.

thekimberlionevans I was not able to completely breastfeed my babies due to thyroid malfunction and regularly feel not only that my body failed me but that I failed my babies. However, World Breastfeeding Week doesn’t make this feeling better or worse. My mom guilt exists regardless and I feel that bringing attention to an issue that is ridiculous (especially in America) where women’s breasts should be for sex and men’s eyes only is hugely important, even if it makes you feel some things you don’t like. I used to dislike Black Lives Matter because I felt that ALL human (and animal really) lives matter...until I realized it wasn’t about that. Giving importance to Breastfeeding, or Black Lives doesn’t denigrate Formula moms or half and half moms like myself or the lives of all other races. Pride month doesn’t denigrate heterosexuals and to think so is misguided and unfair. Just my two cents.

emzibub Being a mum is hard. We should all empower each other. Thank you for sharing your story. And I call bull shit on the people that say you havent given birth if you've had a csection. I had an emergency csection, to save my babies life, a crash c section to save my babies life, both babies then had to spend a week in the scbu (nicu) after those two insane experiences my man an I decided on a planned third csection. Why? Because I wanted to give birth without fear of something going wrong. We needed a calm controlled birth. And that's what it was an amazing calm wonderful experience. And finally after never even being able to hold our babies or see them after they arrived. We finally got that experience. So yep all us mamas who had csections gave birth. We did what our babies needed to get here and to be safe and that's a mamas main job. Xxx

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