ミッチェル・コリンズのインスタグラム(michcoll) - 2月18日 02時06分

Last night at dinner, this family walked in, the dad making extended eye contact with me as a brussel sprout leaf fell out of my mouth, and settled into a booth. 5 minutes later, the dad props his disgusting, nyc-sidewalk-shit-laden sneakers on the booth. Soles up, facing me. As you can imagine, I fumed. This is a restaurant where a 2x2 inch slab of salmon costs $38 and frankly even at a Wendy’s Dave would find this shit unacceptable. When our lovely waiter approached, I mentioned it and he said “I actually let out a noise when I saw.” He couldn’t intervene #justthetip so at first, I attempted to make my signature stern eye contact to indicate that I didn’t wear my J. Crew clearance velvet wrap dress to look at his dirty fucking sneakers, but I guess because I didn’t have food hanging out of my mouth he had no interest. People, this went on for ~7 minutes until I finally went “ᵉˣᶜᵘˢᵉ ᵐᵉˀ excuse me? EXCUSE ME? Can you put your feet down?” Shots fired. Soles, crushed. Slowly, the realization that he was in a public place where people are eating lightly battered seafood dawned on him and he took them down. I waited for the inevitable post-altercation dirty look, but reader... it never came. Our waiter came back and said “I told my manager what you did.. he really enjoyed it.” And as we left, and I beelined past their table without looking lol, all the staff stopped me and said THANK YOU. One by one. It was one of the greatest community service highs I’ve ever felt. Which is why I’m thrilled to announce my candidacy for New York City mayor in *googles term limits* 2021. Campaign platform: DON’T PUT YOUR FEET UP IN RESTAURANTS OR ON TRAINS OR FRANKLY IN PUBLIC and consider a similar rule in cars bc I also hate seeing bare feet on the passenger side dash as I drive by!! #wearelivinginasociety #seesomethingsaysomething

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