Sometimes realising that you have a problem takes a while... In the last 6 weeks of 2018 I put on 10 kilos and started the year with a natural weight west on my body. Reason? An eating disorder. Every day I waited until I’m alone at home. I started eating everything around. Switching between chocolate and chips, sweet and salty stuff for hours. While eating something I was already thinking about what I could eat next. Did I stop when I felt full and sick? No I just kept going. Constantly my head was telling me that I should stop and that I’m going to regret this. But there was a little devil inside me saying: nah just another chocolate bar, just another bag of chips, you’ll be fine! No idea how this devil could take control of me but even though I knew it was wrong what I was doing I wasn’t strong enough to stop. I could’ve never imagined myself desperately searching for sweets in the whole house. In every room,every cupboard,every drawer...nothing was safe from me. I was just thinking about food all day... As I always made sure I’m alone during my eating attacks nobody around me realised how serious it was. I hated myself and felt so angry & ashamed that I couldn’t talk to anyone about it back then. I know I make it sound like it happened a long time ago but I’m actually on my way back to normality right now. Even if I managed to get back to my normal eating habits it’s still not easy and as 10 kilos don’t disappear overnight my weight is still pretty high... Patience is the key now. Getting rid of that many kilos in an healthy way without destroying your body takes a while... But I’m feeling better every day and training is getting better too! Finally I can enjoy climbing again? Why I’m telling you this story? I’m surely not the only one who has/had problems with eating disorders. Sharing my experience should be a warning as I now know how easy it is to slip into it. And It’s very hard to get out of it, especially by yourself... so in case someone has similar problems: find help and talk about it! I know it’s hard because you feel guilty and ashamed but it really helps! I definitely learned a lesson for life... Thanks for reading this... Love you all❤️

schuberthannahさん(@schuberthannah)が投稿した動画 - 2019/02/17 02:19:14