レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 1月29日 06時06分

I’ve felt like absolute shit all day. Had a beautiful morning with the sweetest little angel baby ever and then picked up a terrorizing Luna-tic from daycare. She goes from sweet cuddles to throwing things and screaming at the drop of a dime. It’s draining as hell, staying calm and holding space for a toddler mid-tantrum. I finally put her down for her nap and felt like I’d been hit by a truck - I literally had to go lie in bed and stare at the ceiling for a while.
And then I think to myself; my mother did this. Her mother did this. And every mother before her. We love our children to death - to literal death. I would lie down in front of a moving train for my daughter. She also makes me want to pull out my hair and sit in the shower and cry with my clothes on. I got on my yoga mat and as soon as I started moving realized: both of these things can be true. They can co-exist. I can love her more than life while she drives me absolutely crazy. I can cry in the shower and then roll out my yoga mat. Take a break and return. All of this is possible and I’m managing. I’m a good mom. This I know.
Then... this Savasana. Ringo on my chest. Quila and Laika by my side. My original babies. Sgt Pepper buried in the garden right behind me.
Fuck. I’ve loved so much in my lifetime there is just no end to it. Animals and babies and people. I guess the more we love the more we’re allowed to feel consumed by it from time to time.
Loving a lot sometimes hurts a lot. And its beautiful. And it’s exhausting. And that’s ok. x

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