ミッチェル・コリンズのインスタグラム(michcoll) - 12月27日 07時45分

I finally met my outlet match. This was Bicester Village (pronounces Bister or “Bisties”) today, Boxing Day, the UK equivalent of Black Friday. I thought I’d have a cute morning, catch the train while sippin a cappu looking at sheep and then loooong-leg it into my fave shops, spend enough money to ensure I’ll never own my own home, and then put my Gucci conductor’s hat on for the ride back while curled up next to a stranger’s luggage full of luxury goods. Innnnnstead, I was shoved onto the train with thousands of other p.s.y.c.h.o.s., my body flung out of it as the doors opened like a Marx brothers movie, where I found myself at the mall where every store - 9 out of 10 - had a line. Guards stood in the pathway screaming at everyone to STAY LEFT a la Iceberg Straight Ahead as my body was throttled to and fro with seemingly no autonomy or ability to control itself. A girl ran out of the Prada line screaming “I’ve been here for 2 hours!!!” and BIRD BOXED HERSELF. I then put a blindfold on and felt my way back to the train using two kids I found. I thought I knew throngs... I was fooling myself. Oh ps everyone had full Angela’s Ashes tuberculosis and I guess covering your mouth when you cough is not considered “a thing” here. In short, this was a nightmare and I am dumb for thinking it wouldn’t be!!! Even though I got amazing boots #NOTWORTHIT ???

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