レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 9月11日 05時44分

Feeling so emotional today. Not sure if it’s the new moon or that I’m tired or the fact that this is the biggest week of all time in terms of our community and our business. When I sit with it I don’t feel pressure but maybe beneath it, that’s what it is. Mostly I’ve just been excited (and stoked to not have to keep any secrets from you anymore!). But I woke up this morning feeling agitated. Went to yoga class and cried the first fifteen minutes through. Minor things that really are major things, I guess. I often feel left out. Alone. And it’s a cycle I keep feeding into; the more left out I feel the more I leave myself out and the more I separate myself and on it goes. I can be so absolutely insecure and sometimes it shows up as over confidence or masquerades as something else. ⁣
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Today I just felt... Small. Not seen. Insignificant. So in class instead of taking up space or being big and dynamic I focused on moving deeper into that, on feeling the feeling that’s so damn uncomfortable for me. “No one cares about me”, I thought. “I’m never invited”. “Always holding space for others but no one holds space for me”. For a while I let myself fester in the thoughts and the fears and the insecurities that all hurt so much and with them came a wave of pain. I cried for a really long time. The thing about feelings... There is no way around them. You can fake your way toward happiness and confidence but if it’s not the reality of what’s within you, it’s not going to change anything but just come back around another day. The only way out is through. Today I’ve just felt small and insignificant all day. It hasn’t killed me. Nothing terrible has happened. ⁣
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And now, sitting with my baby on my lap I realized... The feeling has passed. I feel good again. At peace. Calm. And it required no drama, no confrontation, no change of any kind. I matter. I do.⁣
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So I guess what I’m trying to say is... Feel your feelings, lovelies. Even when they hurt. ⁣
They’re here for a reason. x

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