Catharine Mi-Sookのインスタグラム(catharinemisook) - 5月25日 11時34分
Grief is like walking through a city that stands still with time. The world around pauses and extends a holy hush, but within a matter of minutes everything picks back up and starts moving again. Except you. And never mind the ache of it all happened too soon and there wasn’t enough time but then you have the aftermath of tending to loose ends. People come out of the woodwork and strangers edge in as if they’re entitled to grieve with you too. Trite words feel like salt on raw skin. And you pull up your proverbial boot straps like never before. Responsibilities wait on no one so you tend to them. And even when it’s hard you make it a mission to find the magic in each day for the ever watching child. Your nerves are beyond shot but you act with as much grace as you can muster and more. Life has moved on but you’re still sitting there with a feather in your hand in the flux between the linear and what lies beyond. And the heartache is not the real burden. That’s actually the comfort because it meant the love ran deep. The burden is the impatience of this fast lane world. The pressure to let go and get over it already. But you know something? I’ve long parked my car and walked away from that busy highway to the place of quiet waters where I can hear myself breathe again, where I can smell the wild lilies and where I can hear the whispers of trees. And sometimes my dad shows up through the rustling of the leaves. The paradox of breathing in his very essence yet not being able to squeeze his hand. It’s not the same no matter how palpable the moment. It isn’t. And that’s okay. I’m just not gonna pretend. But I’ll take those rustling of leaves and thank the heavens that my dad can still say hello and smile and touch my heart in a very real way. Even now, he’s still my D.A.D.
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