ジ・オニオンのインスタグラム(theonion) - 5月9日 04時45分

“What have I done?” said local diner Eddie Schubert, casting his gaze about the room for any tissue, paper towel, or absorbent sheet that might free him from the shackles of sticky sauce rendering him powerless. “I alone forged these chains, and now in greasy coin do I pay a steep price for my foolish recklessness. My only options are to break free using naught but my wits or to simply hand myself over to the whims of sticky Fate, and in so doing, perish.” #TheOnion

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