レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 3月14日 05時17分

One year ago today. Newborn baby, sleepy dad☺️ .

I was dead set on birthing at home in our birth pool but after 18 hours of the most intensely challenging labor I gave in and we went to the hospital. On the outside nothing really changed; I didn’t have any medical intervention, no epidural, and I still got the natural birth I wanted. But for me going to the hospital was the ultimate surrender. It was everything I didn’t want and had spent weeks fighting. At 2 weeks overdue I’d told every doctor to go to hell when they urged me to get induced and in my mind I was set to have a “natural home birth” - but what it actually represented was my need to control. I read 13 books on unmedicated home birth. I had literally planned to chant the baby out of my womb - preferably in a squat, all alone, in the moonlight surrounded by crystals and palo santo. Well. Nothing happened the way I planned... It happened the way it was supposed to. I gave in. Gave up. Lea Luna gave me her greatest lesson already then, before she was even born: let go. Let go. Ask for help. Surrender. Stop thinking you have to do it all alone.
After fighting the hospital I had to beg to be taken in because no one could believe it was what I really wanted. I couldn’t explain it - I just needed help. What for so long for me represented authority and unnatural practices became a complete representation of God. I was on my knees, in absolute surrender, giving my entire being to the unknown. The moment we got in the car I relaxed so much I almost fell asleep (which after a whole day and night of agony with no progress was a miracle in itself). In the 10-minute car ride to the hospital I dilated 2 centimeters more and an hour later I was 9cm open. Just like that. I spent three hours in seated meditation just breathing in my hospital bed, allowing for the last part of the opening to unfold. Asking for help did something to me; it shifted something big that had to happen for her to be born. .
Birthing her was birthing me.
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This year has been the best, most beautiful, most spiritually challenging and most healing year of my life. And this little girl and I are just getting started❤️ #motherhood

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