デイン・クックのインスタグラム(danecook) - 1月19日 05時31分
#tbt to when I worked at Chess King before the amnesia destroyed my past memories of being raised by an ostrich farmer outside of Tasmania, Australia. I found my old journals written on Mad Lbs which keyed me in on who I was and am. One excerpt said, “I find myself thinking about PENIS ROCKETS and seeing myself as the KINDLY PIRATE MECHANIC with a heart made of CLAM JUICE.” Powerful.
After being recruited by an undercover prostitution ring that doubles as an elite group of assassins calling themselves The Ladies of the Night’cha Got Fucked (Up) I studied with their madam / general Mrs. No who was more of a mother to me. Once when I was sick with a rare case of fire diarrhea she sat up all night with me holding an extinguisher right at the cusp of my anus.
I formed my new identity, @デイン・クック soon after and vowed to use my abilities for good through the vessel of humor.
There is so much more to this story. Things like when I managed OutKast / Speakerboxxx through their breakout days, how I invented the TV show Shark Tank when it was still called “Your Idea Sucks (Wait Not You).”
How I also was gifted a card from Hot Topics and through fate saved a mans life from choking to death when he tried to swallow that Nirvana shirt with the yellow font in the front window that no one has ever bought and makes you wonder why corporate keeps it there.
Stay tuned team. I’ve got more to tell right after I do my cold yoga cryo class.
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