"How can I be substantial if I do not cast a shadow? I must have a dark side also, if I am to be whole." _______________________________________________ I haven't posted a sentimental New Years post like this recently because, to be honest, the past few years weren't always so great. 2015-2016 were hard. I signed a bad contract under the influence of people I thought I trusted, which ended terribly. I also made decisions I knew were bad in favor of people I thought were important. I felt very trapped, a feeling that generally leads me to depression and did for a while. It was difficult to talk about and a lot of it was hard for people to understand, so I kept it to myself. As a result I shut down and was unable to create for a long time. ___ 2017 was a rebuilding year. I had to put the pieces together. I had to fix EVERYTHING. I'm satisfied (if not thrilled) with what I accomplished over the past year, but more than anything I'm psyched to move forward and finish the projects I put aside for a long time. I'm finally finishing my EP that's very special to me, and I feel more inspired and motivated than ever. It's frustrating to fall behind schedule but I'm thankful to have learned the lessons and to have experienced the life I have. There are times when I have wondered what the fuck is wrong with me to have chosen the life I did. I've cried on my bathroom floor. I've had no money in my bank account and had no idea how to pay my rent. Everything isn't always going to happen easily. Things have been hard and are going to continue to be hard and tbh, I have no idea if this is even going to be worth it. Sometimes I'm scared and sometimes I'm sad, but other times I'm blown away by the incredibly fun and interesting life I'm able to live and the most perfectly imperfect humans I'm surrounded by who continue to push, support, and inspire me, even when everything feels hopeless. ___ Life isn't always what you see on Instagram, no matter who you are. We all struggle on our own journeys. I hope in this new year we try to remember that and be kinder to one another. So, here's to 2018 I guess. Please be chill. I'm just trying to live my best life. Wbu? (@spencerstumby)

cartercruiseさん(@cartercruise)が投稿した動画 - 2018/01/04 08:50:35