ジ・オニオンのインスタグラム(theonion) - 12月15日 01時46分

“Both the House and Senate tax plans enjoy a healthy 87 percent approval rating among citizens whose hands are tightly gripping a pillowcase and firmly pressing it down over the face of a bedridden family member or patron until they stop struggling,” said lead author Alice Zarzycki, noting that nearly nine in 10 Americans whispering “shh, shh, sleep now” as their thrashing benefactor landed increasingly feeble blows to their arms and chest indicated that the proposed legislation would considerably improve their personal financial situation. “This level of support even outpaces that of other groups who have endorsed the tax plans, including Americans lying under a Rolls Royce clipping its brake lines or currently pushing their elderly charge’s wheelchair toward the edge of a tall spiral staircase.” #TheOnion

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