Leslie Camila-Roseのインスタグラム(leslie_coutterand) - 8月8日 11時26分

On Sunday while we were diving I had a panic attack.
I asked to end the dive and come back to the surface.
I'm deeply claustrophobic and can't even stay in an elevator without thinking I'm gonna run out of air and die. So deep down in the ocean I can't even list the number of insane thoughts that went through my mind.
For anyone who has strange phobias you can understand that in these particular moments nothing make sense.
I wanted to go to the surface but I had to wait for my instructor to equalize. I depended on him. It made me panic even more and breath heavily.
The more I did the more my throat got dried & made me feel like I would choke. (& die of course your brain always looks for the worse case scenario).
I finally went up to the surface, got back on the boat and cried.
I decided to get back to the water and face my biggest phobia yesterday.
My first dive in the morning went well.
I slowly calmed down & controlled my respiration. Every second I fought against my thoughts & I ended up the dive very proud.
Few hours later we went back on a second dive.
Again, I gained confidence and started to feel a tiny bit more at ease (but still thought that I could get stocked down there for the rest of my life..for no reason what so ever) we ended up the dive after 48 mins.
I felt great & was excited to get back to it today. An hour later I started to feel dizzy, drunk, and high. I was losing balance and felt like I was on a boat. My right ear felt weird. I felt like this all night among other things. Apparently I may have an inner ear problem. I will be absolutely fine. But I had to give up my certification. I still feel horrible & the world spins around me.
For someone like me who likes to finish things, who doesn't want to give up and always tries to confront my fears I woke up feeling like shit.I thought I wasn't enough. I didn't have enough strength to control my body.
I may have even provoc this unconsciously so I wouldn't to dive again & face my fears again in the ocean.
& then I realize that whatever the reason is IT IS OK. It's doesn't matter.
You don't have to be good at everything or perfect & yes you can stop if it's not for you! To saying no 👌

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