ジ・オニオンのインスタグラム(theonion) - 6月28日 00時23分

“This measure is a crucial step toward ensuring that our children and our children’s children are not forced to live in a world where they cannot bask in the natural beauty and breathtaking splendor of me,” said Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke, adding that it would be “a national tragedy” if people as soon as a few decades from now were deprived of his majestic blue eyes. “From shoring up my rapidly diminishing hair reserves to reinforcing the cracks and faults that have developed across my face and body, the funding will help protect this great Cabinet official for many, many years. Without the proper care, I could very soon deteriorate to the point where our country is left with no Ryan Zinke at all—and how will we explain that to our grandkids?” #TheOnion

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